ina
Moving in
- Joined
- 7/9/18
- Messages
- 8
Today is the day my precious little Birdy finally returning to the soil. She lied so soft in the little bed and she still looks beautiful as always. I stroked her crest one last time and saw her being pushed inside of the cremater along with the pink flowers we decorated around her body. My mum said she didn't want to watch but I looked behind the window until the door was closed and the fire was lit. I wanted to be with her on her last journey.
It was a early Sunday morning when I woke up hearing someone screamed. When I checked if my brother was screaming in his dream, I spot a yellow bird that I had never seen before standing on the window frame right beside my bed. She looked at me and I looked at her, no one dared to move. I was so happy coz this is the first time I was so close to a bird and I didn't want to scare her away. So I made some small noise to 'communicate' with her. And of course she didn't know what I was doing so she went back screaming until my father came out of the kitchen and caught her in his hand. That's when Birdy started living with us.
She didn't fly away. She must be someone else's pet before she got here coz she wasn't afraid of us and stood on our fingers without hesitation. We didn't know how to raise a bird so we gave her some rice and cooked meat (...). She was a bit zoned out when we fed her but she ate the food anyway. The whole family was so happy that we were going to keep a bird except my mum. She always suspects the animals are not clean and may carry some kind of disease or fleas. And it's understandable since we had SARS around at that time.
At first we shut all the windows and doors when we set her free from her cage. But then we realised there's no need since she didn't even have the thought of flying away. She befriended my mum quickly and my mum loved her back too. Pretty funny coz my mum didn't even want to keep her in the beginning (guess many parents are like that!) while I, as a little brat, didn't know how to treat a bird properly and often scared her away with my plush toys. I guess that's why she was never that close to me.
We bought her companions in the next few years but two of them flied away in different times. The third one bonded with me the most. But as a male birb he adventured a lot and there was one time he got electrified by biting some wire. We hurried him to the hospital when he didn't eat and all fluffed up in the next few days. The vet told us they didn't know how much damage were done and they were not confident in bringing him back to us. I was so scared and worried that I was going to lose him so I cried and cried for a long time.
One evening I sat in the living room with Birdy on my shoulder and started crying again, I turned to look at Birdy and she didn't bite me. Instead she looked at me with her crest down, beak slightly opened and made a gentle sound. I said 'what should I do? I'm so worried he's not gonna make it' and she made that sound again. She didn't even like him and she probably didn't know what I was saying. But she juz stood there responding to every word I said. At that moment I realised she was sagacious and caring. In fact I always think she's always looks wise, like a human trapped inside a bird's body.
Her first visit to the vet is because of an egg being stuck in her belly. I remember seeing her in the incubator, all fluffed up but looking straight into our eyes, fierce as always and the whole stance looked so annoyed like we disturbed her during her stay (LOL) while I was crying so happily that she was alright. Few years later her eyes started to suffer from cataract and had to take medicine twice everyday. We even had to feed her with syringes since she was so painful in her eyes that she lost her appetite. She made it and started eating by herself again btw. Her vision got blurrier years by years but she was still a happy bird. I knew being blind could be frustrating but she seemed to have no sense of being unhappy about it. I know it's worth it as long as I hear her making those sweet sounds every time we patted her. I know she knew it's worth it too.
Nothing's gonna last forever. Two weeks ago she started to stand on one foot most of the time and looked tired. Testing results pointed out that her kidney was failing and it might be caused by sth she swallowed. There was no surgeries that could be carried out. We could only try to help her with medicine. Things didn't improve even though she had to take 3 kinds of medicine everyday from that on. I was so stressed out coz I didn't know what else I could do to help her. We brought her back to the vet two more times after the first visit and the last time ended up staying overnight in the hospital. She was so tired, her right feet bleeding because of the gouts, but she still groomed herself and enjoyed our scratch and asked for more. I signed the consent form before Birdy was brought inside but I didn't cry that much this time coz I kind of accepted what was possibly going to happen.
The next day I woke up early and couldn't sleep back so I went to work earlier. I checked my phone many times for the fear of miss calls. The nurse said they were going to report to me every morning before 10am during her stay and I imagined what they'd say. Would they say 'Birdy's fierce and bite us a lot but we managed to feed her anyway' or 'she's still like that but she's alright and we'll let Dr. Nic discuss with you when he came back tmr'? And then I'd have to make an appointment to visit her today as well. I waited and waited and I tried my best to distract myself by chatting with my colleagues. 30 mins past 10 I received a msg from my mum, asking if it's okay to talk on the phone, and I knew sth's not right.
My mum was all crying when she told me this and I couldn't hold back anymore once I asked how she passed. Turns out she passed away the time I arrived the office with no struggles and slept peacefully according to the nurse. I felt a bit guilty as I thought she could've stayed at home with us by her side when she passed, but on the other hand it was probably better for her to be in the hospital coz we would definitely rush her to the hospital again when we found her short of breath, and that would only make her stressful in her last moment.
Although I can't have Birdy in my hands anymore, I kind of appreciate what happened in her last few days. The two times we brought her to the hospital, there was always one free section that day while it had always been fully booked. The night when we found her weight dropped further and called the hospital, the booking was suddenly full again so she could stay with us for one more night. It rained so heavily for most of the time on the next day but it stopped juz when we stepped out of the building with Birdy's cage in my arms. I'm not a religious person, but I want to thank whoever it was that helped us.
Birdy,
I will never forget your face when you were excited walking around seeing us covering your cage at night;
your cautious face when I brought you to see my plants (I still have no idea what you were afraid of);
your face with your beak covered by pieces of carrots or corns or leaves;
you being excited jumping out of the cage when you heard the plastic bag or us saying 'bread';
the sweet sounds you made when we stroked your crest.
And I definitely won't forget the picture of you screaming on the window frame 17 years ago.
No more medications, no more injections, no more blurry vision.
You can fly wherever your heart desires, happily and freely.
Thank you for bringing us so much happiness in the past 17 years.
I know we will meet again.
-Ina
PS. Special thanks to Dr. Peter Morgan and Dr. Nicola Di Girolamo, especially Dr. Peter Morgan for treating Birdy so gently for the past few years. It was always heart-warming when we hear you greeting Birdy affectionately.
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I'm still trying my best to fight back my tears every time I think of Birdy. Since the day she was diagnosed with cataract my goal was to do my best to keep her happy and comfy and finish her last journey with no pain. I think I've kind of achieved that. I hope I did.
Last but not least, let's celebrate the dumbest photos I took for Birdy in the past 17 years...She won't be happy about this but forgive me, they cheer me up every time I see them LOL
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
