I wonder if he understands

[Brittany0208]

So here's the dilemma going on: my 29-year-old sister is completely insensitive toward Java. It all started about 3 months ago when he started to settle in and he picked his chosen person, which is me. He no longer allows my sister to handle him and screams at her when she gets too close, even going to the point of climbing off my lap to attack her shirt. Ever since he has shunned the remainder of the household, my sister has written him off completely, calling him things like a**hole and being indifferent if she scares him or makes him uncomfortable, saying things like he needs to get over it. I tell her repeatedly that he has never had positive human contact and that he needs time to get used to everything but she waves it off. I tell her that he knows she doesn't like him but she doesn' care, never considering his existence when she makes sudden movements or loud noises. My biggest concern is how my sister's attitude will effect him since she doesn't seem to care for him like she did in the beginning. I think it may be effecting him emotionally because once she leaves, Java seems less excited about his toys and even nips me. Poor guy, not sure what I can do to reassure him that I will never treat him poorly. He seems quieter after the fact, and I'm willing to bet she's stressed him out with her insensitive attitude, which she and I have exchanged words over. I try to remain calm, but my sister is the kind of person that doesn't understand reason, you have to get in her face and tell her off or she won't take anything seriously. This is my little rant because I'll be d*mned if she treats Java like he's insignificant!

 

[TikiMyn]

I am so sorry! That is a difficult sitiuation as you are such a great Guardian for Java! Perhaps confront her with the fact that she affects him so much, although she likely won’t respond to that I hope you can figure something out with her soon, I am sure you can

 

[Brittany0208]

I am so sorry! That is a difficult sitiuation as you are such a great Guardian for Java! Perhaps confront her with the fact that she affects him so much, although she likely won’t respond to that I hope you can figure something out with her soon, I am sure you can

I have told her time and time again that she stresses him out but her response is "oh, well". She has always been self-centered, even when we were kids but I never thought she'd take it out on an animal since we're both animal lovers

 

[Roxhum]

Sounds like her feelings are hurt. She is taking Java’s attitude towards her very personally. I just wonder if a little understanding towards your sister and offering tidbits of information about bird behavior would help. Be understanding and accepting if she doesn’t want to put forth the time and patience to work with Java. Birds are not for most people. maybe then she can at least mellow out around Java so as not to make the problem worse. Also, I too am new to birds, but I would do a little research on how your behavior and reactions are possible adding to the situation, both to Java and your sister. I do know dogs and I know the tension of the human on the other end of the leash can have a big affect on a dogs behavior.

 

[TikiMyn]

They defianlty respond to stress or other feelings on the caretakers side in my experience all animals I do, from rabbits to horses! It does suck that she can’t change her sisters behavior, but I like your suggestion of giving her information. Perhaps more context Will help her at least care a bit.

 

[faislaq]

I wonder if she isn't hurt by him not choosing her, but also the attention you're giving him instead of her? You did say she has always been self-centered. Her childish behavior sounds like her way of keeping things all about her. She wants your attention, and his, even if it's negative and that's just sad.

She likely does this in all of her relationships both personal and professional.

 

[Dartman]

Dobby has chosen my sister has his favorite and I'm reduced to cage cleaner and walnut provider. I don't hate him for it, they choose who they choose and with time he may decide to let me do more with him. He doesn't hate me, he just wants her to do all the scritchen and cuddles. It does hurt a bit that I wasn't his pick but he's a jungle creature and goes by his own rules. It's too bad she can get past that and work on at least being a non close friend to him. Nerd bird I was his world, but he allowed sister certain special things that only they were allowed to do together, like wait for her to eat her breakfast on her days off then demand a scritchen session, that was their thing together. I bet with time if she earns a bit of trust with Java he'd do something similar with her as well. She probably wont be the main love of his life but she will be allowed certain things that are just for them.

 

[Brittany0208]

Well, I appreciate everyone's input, and I offered to explain things to her from his perspective and she wasn't interested in hearing it, which came as no surprise to me. I don't believe she's jealous because she's hardly home (night classes and spending most of her time with her boyfriend), she's always been the type to have the last word no matter what, and maybe this is what she's doing with Java. I don't know. All I know is it's very draining on the mind, and it isn't doing anyone in the house any good, but I guess now I can only hope that she can at least let sleeping dogs lie.