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Help! Parrot obsession!

Marvel_ous

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I think I may have a problem...
Pretty sure I have the parrot bug BAD.

Every time I shower, I imagine a parrot showering with me. Every time I go on walks, I think of a bird in harness, with me. Every day when I do schoolwork, I think on a feathered companion keeping me company. I dream about parrots almost every night. And yet my parents won't let me adopt even a budgie for a year or so. I am definitely ready for a parrot. I am saving pretty much everything I earn, I am free 90% of the time, and I have plans made. I even have a species in mind, although species will probably be thrown out the window if I adopt. I have been stalking these forums, but I want to be near real parrots. There are no rescues within an hour of me, no frequent bird events, and my infrequent (AKA like twice a year) visits to my favorite parrot shop leave me feeling depressed, knowing my next visit won't be for several months. My parents aren't going to drive half an hour just so I can see birds very often. Even though I am ready for a parrot, my parents are still hung up on the past and how I ignored Sky when I was younger. I have changed a lot over the past five years, but my parents are still wary. I need help!!

1. Any possible way to get a bird fix without my parents having to do much?

2. Help in convincing them that the bird won't be trouble on their end, and I won't lose interest? I'll be trying my best in terms of school and chores this year, to show them that I can be dedicated to something, long term.

3. Most important: How to I beat this obsession? I feel mildly depressed whenever my mind isn't occupied, as my thoughts drift to what can't be for at least a year more.
 

Max83

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hi, what are the reasons your parents don't want you to have a parrot? have you already other animals in the house? or are you interested in big species that scare them?
 

M_Riddly

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To answer question one, does anyone around your area have a parrot you could spend time with? If not then maybe drag a friend down into the black ibis of parrot obsession with you. I did that to a couple of my friends so I would have someone to go with me on my visits. Going alone can be lonely and it's always nice to ogle birds with someone as enthusiastic as you are.

For number two, time really is the best remedy. I know it's hard to be patient and believe me, I get the desperation. Not saying this is a good idea, but back when I first got into parrots, I had my heart set on a cockatiel. I wanted one so bad. I decided that I would just convince my father (my mom didn't really care one way or the other) that he should let me get one. Probably shouldn't divulge my methods, but let's just say they worked. Birds aren't that difficult in the way of clean up care if your getting a small one. I suggest something small-ish. Small is relative though. Maybe a irn or tiel. if you can handle the high pitches noises conures make, then I would definitely suggest them. They aren't as flighty as a tiel and more cuddly than a irn. Irn's are talkative, though, so if you want a good talker then get a male irn.
If you really want to win over your parents and show them you are responsible, try doing chores on a regular basis. And I don't mean the ones you normally are suppose to do.

Try doing other things and without being asked to. You would be surprised at how that impresses parents. Maybe wash your parents car or vacuum??? Just some suggestions.

Your probably not going to like this answer to the third question and think I'm stereotyping, but it's a adolescent thing. Especially in the teenage years. I am not saying this in any sort of negative way, but the desperate aching you feel to get a bird is just that. I relate to the feeling. Heck. I still have it on the occasion. Something that helped me settle down was either doing research, looking for birds for sale/adoption online (don't suggest ever doing online bird deals because I got scammed and lost a ton of money). I happen to live near many different bird stores and pet shops that sell birds so I guess I got lucky in that department. I also am able to drive. YouTube videos sometimes helped me. Sometimes they only made me want the bird of my dreams even more so it's a mixed bag with that.

To show your commitment to your parents, try sitting them down and having a mature conversation with them. Plan out what your going to say, almost like it's a school speech you have to give. List all the responsibilities and how you can accommodate them. Try and not have them respond back to you with their concerns at this particular sit down. Maybe say something at the end of your presentation along the lines of, I know you probably need some time to think over what I have presented so juat get back to me when you have thought it all over. Don't try to rush the process because parents like to take their time on these sort of things to make sure it's not a fleeting desire. They want to know your committed. After all, parrots live a minimum of 15 years for the smaller species. If you go off to college, chances are the bird will end up their bird because you may not be able to bring it with you to a dorm or apartment. Just something to consider. Oh! And have your sit down after laying some groundwork. Do extra chores for a bit before confronting them.

Good luck to you! I wish you the best in your bird endeavors!
 

Gazimon

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Singapore
What I did:

Spam my mum almost every other day with a lovebird photo. For weeks.
Do an entire packing and organization of my room. Including visualization of where the cage will be, keeping in mind air-con draft, debris falling from the cage etc. And where the toys / food will be kept.
Be responsible and take the initiative with responsibilities. [that said, don't slack off on this if you do get a bird]
Plan out how you will manage the bird's entire lifespan in relation to the future of your own. [eg. college, work, renting your own place? etc.]

Keep in mind that unlike dogs, birds live as a flock. To them, you are a flock mate of equal standing, not an alpha or leader. So expect to also lay down regular time and energy to do activities that THEY want and enjoy regardless of how 'meeeh' you may feel after school, or later on in life, after work. The relationship that you envision with your bird should not be solely human-centric as in "my bird doing things with me", but a more balanced as in "sometimes my bird follows me, and sometimes I follow my bird".

Wishing you all the best!
 

finchly

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I assume you are a minor, so whatever happened 5 years ago is forever ago! Have a talk with them about other behaviors you did 5 years ago that are not you at all now!My goodness! Also tell them about this forum and invite them to join or at least read here.

You guys crack me up with your methods. @Gazimon @M_Riddly

As far as letting go of the obsession, nobody here can help you. We’re all addicted! You’ve been sucked in! It’s possible that it will be displaced by another obsession, but not if you are really a parrot person.
 

Marvel_ous

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hi, what are the reasons your parents don't want you to have a parrot? have you already other animals in the house? or are you interested in big species that scare them?
Like I said, they are still wary because of how I treated Sky, and what they've heard about parrots. I do have two dogs, and currently my younger pup, Connor, has figured out how to escape his crate, so that isn't helping in terms of them letting me get another animal. And, no. I WANT a macaw someday, but my dream bird is an Indian Ringneck. Not too big. Or loud. I say loud in relative terms.

Thank you all for the tips!! This thread is always open for more suggestions! Please keep 'em comin'!!
 

Max83

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I think if you show them you take good care of your dogs and help them with other things in the house like vaacuming, washing dishes, cleaning the house etc and talk to them seriously about birds they'll eventually change their mind...

They're probably only scared to have the responsability of the animal if you get bored or life brings you away like for go to college. I've seen that for people who dislikes animals is a HUGE sacrifice only do simple things like feeding and replace water every day.
 

Marvel_ous

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I think if you show them you take good care of your dogs and help them with other things in the house like vaacuming, washing dishes, cleaning the house etc and talk to them seriously about birds they'll eventually change their mind...

They're probably only scared to have the responsability of the animal if you get bored or life brings you away like for go to college. I've seen that for people who dislikes animals is a HUGE sacrifice only do simple things like feeding and replace water every day.

Yep, definitely can see their thought process. "Daughter wants a parrot. Parrots=loud, pooping, biting creatures. Maybe if I introduce them to a sweet bird one on one, without Jungle Screams Of Joy from 20+ birds distracting them.
 

HolliDaze

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Start asking for a snake or spider for a few weeks....
 

Hankmacaw

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I'm in Colorado.
Come help me haul 6 huge cages outside to powerwash.
That should cure you for a little while.


Or maybe you can go to the vet's with me next time I take Jasper and listen to the Dr. tell me that she is going downhill and that we may have to take some extreme measures to keep her alive that will cost thousands of dollars. BTW - this has been happening for years and has absorbed my entire focus.

It's not all fun and games.

 

sunnysmom

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I'm in Colorado.
Come help me haul 6 huge cages outside to powerwash.
That should cure you for a little while.
I was actually going to seriously suggest something like that. LOL. Are there any vets in your area that you can contact to see if they know people with birds or would your parents let you place an ad saying willing to help with birds? I would love to have someone come in on a regular basis and help with my cockatoo. I was fortunate when I had my tiel to have a fantastic bird sitter. I would even have her come in a couple times a week when I was at work, just to give him some company. There may be parrot people where you live who would love to have someone come in an hour or two a week to help with their birds.
 
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Marvel_ous

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Ohhh, YES. My mom is terrified of those, a bird won't be a problem after asking for that. :evilgrin:
Start asking for a snake or spider for a few weeks....
@Hankmacaw, I do understand it isn't all fun and games. Like I said, I will always continue saving money for an emergency vet fund.

@sunnysmom, Great advice! Will def ask them about that.
 

JLcribber

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Go volunteer at a bird rescue. That will fill your brain with the reality of bird ownership and replace this "vision" you have. You dream about all the good stuff without realizing all the other stuff.
 

Hankmacaw

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It's not just the money - it's the heartache and complete taking over of your life with an ill bird. You also have predators in your home.
 

Marvel_ous

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Go volunteer at a bird rescue. That will fill your brain with the reality of bird ownership and replace this "vision" you have. You dream about all the good stuff without realizing all the other stuff.
Believe me, I've looked. SEVERAL TIMES. No bird rescues within an hour of us. Sigh.

And, yes, I am also preparing for potential heartache and time spent.

Thank you all for your advice!
 

HolliDaze

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Ohhh, YES. My mom is terrified of those, a bird won't be a problem after asking for that. :evilgrin:
Go up to her and explain that you've realized birds can be messy, but that spiders aren't and you're willing to compromise :hehe:
 

hrafn

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The thing about living with your parents is that you live with your parents. You can badger them, beg them, coerce them, try to convince them with chores and hard work, but at the end of the day it's their house.

Your mama has said she's "all animaled out" and I can see where she's coming from. You have a puppy, that's already a massive responsibility that she allowed you to have.

I fully understand that aching, desperate need for something. But try to find a way to redirect yourself. It's hard, but doable.

Your parents have already given you permission to get a bird, they're just asking for a year or two before they add another responsibility and commitment to their busy household.
 

MnGuy

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If your parents won't let you get a bird, the best thing is to focus your energy on your other pets, other goals (school, work, etc.) and hobbies, new or old. Focus on training your dogs. Focus on improving a current skill or learning a new one.

Parents get to have the final say. I also don't think it's fair that they hold the past against you. As much as a child might ask and want and should help out, I feel that parents are ultimately responsible/play a big role in any pet that is brought into a home.

Good luck.
 
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