Difficult decisions.

[Jaguar]

I am leaving my partner of 6 years. I am renting a room that does not allow pets. I have two options for the tiels.

Option one, leave them with my partner, who will (hopefully) return them to me when I'm able to take them. I will not be able to see them regularly until then.

or

Leave them with my mom, where they will be caged constantly and kept with her birds. I will see them once or twice a week.

I see a lose/lose situation for them. They either lose me, or lose their freedom. It's breaking my heart and I don't know what to do.

 

[MommyBird]

I'd leave them with your Mom. At least you can visit them and see that they are OK and getting good care.
Your partner may take out any animosity toward you on the fids, or just not care for them well and you wouldn't know.
They will be ok with more in-cage time, and may enjoy the other birds. Maybe make a few new toys for them to receive when you visit.

 

[Distaff]

I'd go with Mom.

 

[MangotheBirdy]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this Jaguar - ending a long term relationship is so hard, and having a decision like this to make adds to much more heartache. I think you have to make the decision that is best for the birds. If you think they will be happier with your partner, that may be the way to go. And hopefully he would be kind enough to return them to you as soon as you can find a place that allows you to have them. That is so hard though. Easier said than done. Good luck!

 

[MangotheBirdy]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this Jaguar - ending a long term relationship is so hard, and having a decision like this to make adds to much more heartache. I think you have to make the decision that is best for the birds. If you think they will be happier with your partner, that may be the way to go. And hopefully he would be kind enough to return them to you as soon as you can find a place that allows you to have them. That is so hard though. Easier said than done. Good luck!

This is of course only if they would have a better life there. If they are happier at your mom's, then that would be the way to go.

 

[Mizzely]

From the birds point of view - are they at all bonded with your ex-partner? That would be the only reason to leave them with them.

Otherwise, your mom. You will get to see them regularly and still have say in their care. Leaving them with your partner means you may loose all say in their care, and you might lose them completely.

Your situation seems temporary. Don't make a decision for them that you will regret over a temporary set back.

Remember that birds are much more adaptable than we give them credit for

 

[greys4u]

I would say mom

 

[finchly]

That is a tough call. Breakups are rarely amicable, so the ex might do something weird like give them away. Does he love them? Does he spend time with them on his own? Do you trust him?

I can't imagine giving my birds to my mother, but if I did I know I could count on her to take good care of them.

Whatever you do, we are here to help you work your way through it all.

 

[TWR]

The only reason I'd leave them with your ex is if they are more bonded with him than they are with you. So search your heart and if that's is the case, then maybe even long term, their home is with him.

Otherwise, and especially if this is only interim accommodation until you can find something pet friendly, I'd go with leaving them with your mum.

 

[Princessbella]

I'm also sorry for your breakup. I would also say your Mom. You never know what will happen with your ex down the road

 

[Tiel Feathers]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Are you and your ex on good terms? I guess it depends on how much you trust your ex. I think your mom might be the way to go, but why can't they come out? Can they come out when you visit? Also, how long do you think you will have to live in the place that doesn't allow pets?

 

[tielluver]

I would leave them with your mom. That way you can visit them, talk to them and they will know you still love them. You don't know for sure what could happen with your ex.

 

[Jaguar]

We're on good terms and I trust he'd return them to me - but he decided he does not want to keep them, so they will be going to my mom's.

Thanks, everyone.

 

[ode.to.parrots]

I'm glad you found a solution, and fortunately it's temporary!

I am so sorry that you are going through this break up and uprooting your life as it was. I can't even imagine.

 

[CrazyBirdChick]

I'm so sorry! Breakups are always hard, no matter the circumstances. I am glad your mom is willing to take them in, and I hope things will work out even better for you soon. May I ask....is Puffy going to your mom's too?

 

[sunnysmom]

Sorry to hear about your break up.

 

[iamwhoiam]

So sorry. Good that your mom is willing to take them and hope they will be back with you soon.

 

[Jaguar]

is Puffy going to your mom's too?

I'm not sure if there's room She has an outdoor aviary but her conures are bullies. I'm going to figure out arrangements in a few days.

 

[Jaguar]

Things didn't work out the way I'd hoped, and the birds are being left in my partner's care until I'm able to accommodate them. I'm hoping to be able to take them back in spring at the latest, but I have accepted that he may want to keep them permanently.

I'm going to miss them so much. I'll be taking a break from the forum. See you all around, hopefully.

 

[painesgrey]

@Jaguar Please try to make some kind of written agreement with your ex-partner regarding the expectations moving forward. There is no such thing as "custody" of pets in the event of breakups and divorce, since they're considered property by the law. But if you write up a contract stating your expectation of return, you can always take him to court in the future if he refuses to return them to you. You will probably be expected to provide some financial support for their care, though.