Custody change

[Leanna]

So I haven't posted on this particular forum in awhile because about 5 months ago I got a divorce. Despite my best efforts, my ex got custody of the caiques. It was extremely painful for me but I had no real rights as he purchased them. A week ago, he called me out of the blue, and asked if I could take them back. I was surprised but I agreed right away as long as he signed the legal paperwork signing them over to me.

I didn't ask what was wrong until he dropped them off. Apparently they had been getting more and more aggressive and frustrated since I left and he could no longer handle them. According to him, Kate did not even want to come out of her cage. I was shocked, Kate had never once done that when I was around. I was worried but obviously agreed to take them back anyway. I love them afterall.

They've been with me for a week now and they are exactly how they were when I left. I have no idea what he was talking about. They've been clingy but nothing that is aggressive. Zoey is wild and nibbles a lot but she's always needed a lot of exercise too combat her hyperactivity. Kate has been cuddly and is always ready to hang out.

 

[iamwhoiam]

Sorry about the divorce. Sounds as if the birds missed you. If they had been able to talk and the judge asked them who they would prefer to stay with they probably would have said "Our mom." Glad you got them back.

 

[Leanna]

Probably I was the one who fed and cleaned up after them, and they spent more time with me overall.

 

[Shezbug]

Sorry to hear about your divorce. Sounds like they misbehaved until they got to go home with the parent they preferred, smart little critters

 

[greys4u]

I had a greyhound that we tried to get someone to adopt him but it didnt work, because we were told he had bad behavior and he was returned to us 3 times so we kept him and like you, he was perfect and glad to be home. Animals are so smart it's scary!

 

[Dartman]

You are their chosen one and they were unhappy and acting out as they no longer saw you. Now that you are in their lives all is right with their world and they can go back to being who they were.

 

[SandraK]

I'm sorry about the divorce, they're emotional and affect not only the children but the family critters as well. I was lucky enough not to have children but I pretty much walked away from everything including the two dogs, Saci & Bags, because there was no way they'd be okay in a one bedroom apartment. Saci was a Lab/pitbull mix and Bags was a flat coat retriever and I'd trained both of them since Marc had never had a pet in his life. After I left, Marc told me that Saci would jump the fence and go next door to Debbie, my former neighbour who loved animals. Deb would let Saci in and she'd just settle down inside until Marc came home. A 5 ft fence couldn't keep her in, so Marc fenced in the area under the deck but he still couldn't contain her. He only told me this after I told him I was moving out of state.

Years later he told me he & his new wife got a puppy after Saci & Bags died of old age. They lost the pup because he had eaten gravel from the driveway and they didn't realize he was ill until it was too late. Maybe great at metal trading but completely clueless about companion creatures and their needs.

 

[Denice]

Glad you got your feather babies back.

 

[Princessbella]

I'm sorry about the divorce. Even though he loved them enough to keep them, he may have not been the best caregiver and they missed you. I'm glad that they are back with you.

 

[Clueless]

Smart girl to get the paperwork first.

I've seen a lot of divorces where they didn't truly love the animal..... but they knew the other person did. Breaks my heart sometimes how stupid people can be to each other.

All is well now though. They're back in your hands.

 

[WendyN]

As Terry says, you are their chosen one. They missed you.
I am very sorry about the divorce.

 

[cassiesdad]

Sorry about the divorce.

Zoey and Kate are meant to be with you...I'm so happy they're back where they belong.

And yes...kudos to you for getting the paperwork in order...

 

[Leanna]

Yeah the paperwork was necessary so he can't turn around and change his mind. I don't think he'd bother now that we no longer have anything to fight or even talk about, but it wasn't worth the risk. Last time I ever share a pet with someone unless I'm the owner.

Thanks to everyone for the condolences but I think we're all better off here.
​

I think the majority of the behavior problems he experienced were due to lack of attention. He works long hours and couldn't always be bothered to spend time with them when we were together. He promised me he would make sure they were let out at least once a day but I suspect that didn't always happen. Judging by the way they bite me every time I try to put them back in their cages I think there is some resentment about 'being locked up'. It's the only aggression I've seen since they've been back at least.

Other than that Zoey has been flying over to me each time I try to leave the room their play stand is in, even if it's just a second to go to the bathroom or get the door for the delivery guy. I can tell she is really upset because she's breathing so hard, like something scared her. I don't know how to fix that for her. I feel obligated to comfort her but I don't want to reinforce that behavior either. Right now, I just let her come with but ultimately I want her to just stay perched on the play stand.
Any advice you guys have on that problem would be a big help.

 

[Dartman]

I think once they get used to coming out like they used to that behavior will go away. Dobby knows he doesn't come out till everyone is home and settled in for the day so he snoozes, eats, and plays with toys till we're home with no issues. Now if we sit here and forget to let him out after we're done he'll start making noise and complaining till we get with it.

 

[Clueless]

Give them a high value treat when you return them to the cage.

MC and Secret are awesome when I use a T stick to return them to their cages. Right now I occasionally use a sliver of almond to reward them with.

When you walk out of the room tell them you'll be right back. I think they link the tone and the words with actions.

 

[Fergus Mom]

That is so wonderful that he cared about them enough to return them to you, and maybe he felt guilty about the lack of attention, so what a great deed. I hope that they will settle in to their normal routine now that they are back. Divorces are so unsettling... for all species.

 

[finchly]

My ex said I could come back but my animals had to go. Buh-BYYYE!

I’m happy for you. And for your fids. Remember time is your friend, she will settle down . Do you not want her on you?