Bonding issues

[Tiefenthaler]

Hi there. My name is Linda Tiefenthaler. I have a rose breasted cockatoo named Otis. He is about 6 months old. I've had him about 3 months. He is a sweet little guy. I thought he was bonding with me, but then I went on vacation for a week and now he has bonded with my boy friend. JJ.
Seriously bonded Definitely prefers him. Plus now Otis has started biting me. He wasn't biting before I went on vacation. There are three other birds in the house an eclectus and two conures. And ALL of them are bonded to JJ. too. He seems to have the magic touch. Apparently I don't.
JJ, is able to read the birds better than I can. And handles them better. He goes out of his way to pet and touch Otis. Spending longer than with the other birds. . I've asked him not to do this, but he ignores me. He sez that he can't help it that every one else's animals have always preferred him. And that I'm just not doing things right. When I asked him not to mess with Otis so much he sez that if he stopped it would break his heart and break Otis's heart too. What about my heart? I'm so bummed.
To be fair JJ does have a calmer nature. And like I said he can read them better. I have stress and self esteem issues. I'm sure Otis can sense this. And of course would rather hang out with him.
This post seems to have turned into a therapy session.
Point is I really love Otis, but I think I've lost him. Is there any way to reverse that? Or should I just accept the fact that maybe I don't deserve to be a parrot owner. I'm at a loss here. I don't want to lose Otis. Is there ant way that I can win Otis over again? I'm so very bummed.
Any suggestions? And yes I am trying to join a stress management group/class.

 

[Lady Jane]

@jmfleish may have some advice.

 

[Mizzely]

His preferences may change a few times while he's still a baby. However if your boyfriend keeps being the primary source of companionship then it is much harder for you. Can you ask him to teach you how to read them better?

 

[Appolosmom]

welcome I'm sure others will be able to help

 

[iamwhoiam]

Welcome to AA. You need to try to be the main person for Otis. Your boyfriend needs to step back a bit. Do you give Otis a treat when you pass his cage? Also try to get your boyfriend to listen.

 

[cassiesdad]

Welcome to you, Otis, and the rest of the flock.

Otis has only been with you a short time, and is a very young bird. There's no way that you've "lost" him. Birds will go through times of liking people...then changing their likes quickly.

There's a lot going on with you, your boyfriend, and Otis....and you have every right to interact with Otis as he does. You have to stand up for yourself with your boyfriend concerning Otis. Turning a bird into a "one person bird" is not a good thing for a bird in any way....as it seems your boyfriend is trying to do with Otis...

 

[Cynthia & Percy]

welcome

 

[Lady Jane]

What @cassiesdad said.

 

[sunnysmom]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[expressmailtome]

Welcome, and enjoy the site!

 

[jmfleish]

I have a Galah who I raised before I met my husband and when my husband came onto the scene, he seemed to love my husband more. Now I don't dare handle him if my husband is around as I will get bit and badly. I would try to be the primary caretaker for Otis right now and try to convince your boyfriend to let you re-establish your relationship with him. Of course, maturity can change the dynamics completely. That's when our Kishka decided he hated me and loved Jon. Parrots can be strange little creatures. Always try to take the relationship on their terms and know that just because one might not have chosen you first doesn't mean there is something wrong with you!

I also have six greys. One of them, Smokey, we brought home at age 20 because he seemed to not like women at all and none of the other greys in the house like my husband. Smokey bonded with Jon immediately and would come after me and bite hard. I'm the primary caretaker of the birds and I'm happy to say that after two years of working on my relationship with Smokey, he will step up for me, even from his cage and he seeks me out for scritches. Time is a wonderful thing if you have patience!