Birds and Tough Times

[SquawksNibbles]

Most of us here on Avian Avenue have been through some pretty tough times, yet we’ve been lucky enough to have our feathered friends by our side (and not to mention, our AA friends’ support, too). My two feathered boys, I know, have helped me through several difficult times. Some of which I still struggle with and others my birds have already helped me get through.

So, I thought it was appropriate to create a thread for how our birds have helped us get through these difficult times.

For me, one thing that my little boys helped me with was the passing of my two other Budgies before them: Bella, and Alex. The one that affected me most was Bella’s passing. Here’s a link with a little bit of her story: My Dear Bella | Avian Avenue Parrot Forum.

Anyways, the guilt from her passing got to me... bad. Later down the road I brought Alex in to my home, only to have him pass a couple days later - we found out he was sick. No doubt from the pet store we got him from. Well, you can imagine how that made me feel - absolutely horrible. But then Skittles and Nico came along, and they filled in my heart. They have helped me though the guilt and grief of my dear Bella and Alex’s passing (and may they never be forgotten). Though, they of course haven’t made it all go away, they are 2 more amazing creatures I can love when I’m feeling down.

One thing I have struggled with my whole life is extreme shyness. I want to be a social person, I want to talk to people and meet people, but when I try to talk with strangers I just can’t come out of my shell. I guess I’m just worried people will judge me or something - I don’t even know. But it’s infuriating, because the way others do it, it just looks so easy, and I’m sure it is, but definitely not for me. And when I can’t interact with other people, I just always have my little flock to keep my company. And this, this has just been a great help. Because without them, or any of my other pets, or the people here on AA (which I joined because of the birds), I would be a very, very lonely person.

And in April of 2017, our grandma died in hospice care. She had already been in hospice care once before, but she had actually gotten better, it was a miracle, and she was able to go home for a little while. Then perhaps a little over a year later, in April of 2017, she got back in to hospice because it was not looking good. I guess I really wasn’t aware of what would happen - because she had already been in hospice a year ago and yet had recovered and went home and was healthier and everything. So I guess I was kind of expecting the same to happen again. But then one morning, when our aunt and uncle had been staying with us, my aunt got the text saying she had passed. And because my parents and siblings were asleep, I had to be the one to go in there and tell everyone. It was totally devastating for the whole family. And of course we were all there for each other, but my fids provided me with extra support. Around the time our grandma passed, I had upgraded the birds’ cage. And it was just amazing seeing the birds so happy with their new home and everything, and they gave me more comfort.

These are just a few examples of how my Budgie boys have helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. I hope others will come along and share, though only do it if you feel like it.

 

[SquawksNibbles]

Life has been extremely difficult recently, for my 23 year-old cousin was shot and killed on May 19. I was totally shocked, but I never knew it would be this hard. He was just a young, happy man who was very kind to all. Ever since he was killed, sometimes at night I just feel so sad and find myself breaking down into tears. It has been so difficult for everyone involved. My cousin had 4 siblings, one of which is only like 8 years-old, and they are just devastated - it’s difficult to see them like this. But of course I have my little flock of two to keep me busy. With their silly shenanigans, and care needs, they’ve put a smile on my face and have given me a great reason to keep myself together and give them all that they need. Not to mention, I’ve had my other pets and my fellow AA members’ support.

 

[faislaq]

I'm glad your birds can make you smile in this time of sadness. They are completely oblivious of any darkness in the world because they only know constant love and happiness from you.

 

[becdimarc]

ive been dealing, with the passing of my dad, and the upcoming open heart surgery of my 5 year old,
and having charlie around has just lightens the mood some days, and lets me focus on something else instead of just heartache and anxiety and worry.
he has brought so much smiles, and love back into our home!
i will forever be grateful for my little charlie!

 

[SquawksNibbles]

ive been dealing, with the passing of my dad, and the upcoming open heart surgery of my 5 year old,
and having charlie around has just lightens the mood some days, and lets me focus on something else instead of just heartache and anxiety and worry.
he has brought so much smiles, and love back into our home!
i will forever be grateful for my little charlie!

How wonderful you have a Charlie there to keep you happy! Charlie sounds precious!

I’m so very sorry for the passing of your dad. Losing a family member and loved one is very difficult and heart breaking indeed.

And... yikes! Open heart surgery on a 5 year old! Oh, no, I’m sorry - I’ll be praying for you and your child.

 

[becdimarc]

How wonderful! Charlie sounds precious!

I’m so very sorry for the passing of your dad. Losing a family member and loved one is very difficult and heart breaking indeed.

And... yikes! Open heart surgery on a 5 year old! Oh, no, I’m sorry - I’ll be praying for you and your child.

thankyou, losing my dad has been hard, it happened dec 14th, and i was a daddies girl and it hurts knowing he wont be there for my wedding and whatnot! im still young, 25 and still needed my dad around to teach me so much more!
but i am very blessed to have an awesome father in law!
and as for my daughter ella, i am very freaked out for such an invasive surgery on such a young girl! i watched my dad recover from his and he was never the same after it!
but he has a hole in her heart that keeps growing and it needs to be closed! it causes to many health issues!
but charlie is a gem! he brings a smile to everyone's face! altho i don't let the kids touch him, every night the kids and him have a dance party and it just brings the whole family together haha!

 

[metalstitcher]

I am sorry for both of your losses. I now how hard it can be and having our feather kids around makes such a difference.

Gracie is in a nutshell my crazy other half but when I need her she is right there. When I was going through a deep depression she was there for me every day doing her crazy little tricks showing off her flying skills around the house and driving Bo up the walls. When my mother in law passed in April 2016 she didn't know how to handle me being a crying mess because I have never cried in front of her until then. I got nipped a few time but I think it was more out of concern than anything else. When my husband's grandma passed in March 2018 her and Bo both have been amazing in being there for me while I deal with everything. Bo I know misses her very much because that was his person but I am trying to pick up the slack playing more with him and reading to him. He waits for me when I get up for work and we play for a little while and I make sure he gets his out time. He is helping me to keep my mind off of everything else.

She has become more away of my migraines and becomes a super cuddle bug when I have one. I do think she knows when they are coming before I do because the last major one I had this week the day before she was a holy terror until I got up. Once it hit she was very quiet and super stage 5 clinger. Couldn't even stand up with having a feathered green growth on my head.

I don't know where I would be without either one of them. They keep my life busy and off the things that make me sad like having to go through boxes of my mother in laws belongings and grandmas clothes. I know I would be a train wreck if I didn't have their companionship.

 

[finchly]

Two of my human children (who’ve been out of the house 10+ years) have decided that I was a horrible mother, ruined their lives, and am responsible for any shortcomings they may have. This breaks my heart because I was single since they were 4 & 5, and raised them by myself — and did not have hobbies or socialize much but instead always stayed home to be there for them.

When they dump on me, I go to the bird room and let the sadness out and gradually I hear the sweet little chirps and they fly to me wanting scritches. I usually start doing some work in there — there’s always work to be done — and at the end I don’t feel so sad any more.

 

[LSA]

Two of my human children (who’ve been out of the house 10+ years) have decided that I was a horrible mother, ruined their lives, and am responsible for any shortcomings they may have. This breaks my heart because I was single since they were 4 & 5, and raised them by myself — and did not have hobbies or socialize much but instead always stayed home to be there for them.

My human children are the same! Recently, my daughter said she was always so jealous of George and was sure I loved my birds more than her. My son hardly talks to me anymore and thinks my birds are a substitute for them. Wait, they grew up with birds in our household. I hate to admit it, but my birds seem to care more and are lots nicer to me.

 

[finchly]

t my birds seem to care more and are lots nicer to me.

Yes!

 

[SquawksNibbles]

I’m so sorry, @finchly and @LSA. I don’t understand how a child can just stop talking to their own mother, who raised them and loved them their whole life. Again, so sorry. Good that you have your feathered children now to love and be loved back by.

 

[LSA]

I’m so sorry, @finchly and @LSA. I don’t understand how a child can just stop talking to their own mother, who raised them and loved them their whole life. Again, so sorry. Good that you have your feathered children now to love and be loved back by.

Thanks for your kindness.
You haven't had to learn that fids forgive but kids don't?

 

[finchly]

Thanks for your kindness.
You haven't had to learn that fids forgive but kids don't?

Leslie @SquawksNibbles is a minor herself -- but one who really cares about her mom. You wouldn't know it would you? She writes like a mature adult!

Thank you Kiera. You are very sweet. Somehow my kids don't understand how much I love them. But you're right I have my feathered kids, 2 fur kids, and the best husband in the world!

 

[LSA]

Leslie @SquawksNibbles is a minor herself -- but one who really cares about her mom. You wouldn't know it would you? She writes like a mature adult!

I never would have guessed! @SquawkNibbles, I'm impressed!
Please never use your gift to write a mean letter to Mom blaming her for all your troubles. (She'll have a hardcopy to prove it!)
Again, thanks for your kindness! You certainly made this grandmother smile.

 

[taxidermynerd]

I got Chirp at a very bad point in my life... I was really suicidal. I got him in May 2016 and I made my last suicide attempt in June 2016. Haven't self-harmed or attempted since.

He's pulled me back from the brink a lot of times. He gives me a reason to get up in the morning. I don't know what I'd do without him.

 

[LSA]

I got Chirp at a very bad point in my life... I was really suicidal. I got him in May 2016 and I made my last suicide attempt in June 2016. Haven't self-harmed or attempted since.

He's pulled me back from the brink a lot of times. He gives me a reason to get up in the morning. I don't know what I'd do without him.

I'm so glad you found Chirps!!!

 

[hrafn]

Kraz was the first pet I ever had who was really mine -- I looked after him, I kept him company, I chose him. I was only fourteen, and a woefully ignorant and inconsiderate fourteen-year-old at that, with a slew of behavioural problems stemming from undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, depression, anxiety, and a slew of other disorders.
I was aggressive, I was moody, I was violent, and I was exhausted, mentally and physically, at all times.
There were long stretches where I hated everyone and everything, and my angst would manifest itself in stupidity beyond reckoning.
I almost died many times. Intentionally and unintentionally.

But, at the end of every day, no matter what had happened or how I felt, Kraz was there.
In my bedroom I could shut out everyone else, but not Kraz. He needed me, needed me to feed him and give him fresh water and listen to him sing, and even when I didn't have the energy to shower for days on end, I had to drag myself out of my torpor if only to be sure my bird had clean newspaper and washed bowls.
I was a disgusting, hideous person, but Kraz didn't care one way or the other. I was his only company, the only one who would look out for him, and if I dared slack in my duties he would give me a harsh telling-off.
He's probably the reason I'm alive.

Now I'm twenty-five, and still a mess, but over the years I've become a mother to a menagerie sixteen strong, and just like Kraz has been since I was fourteen, they are the reason I force myself to get up every day, and fight as hard as I can to get through each day, in order to be sure my kids will be looked after. I'm responsible for them, and as little as I may sometimes care about myself, I can't stop caring about them.

Kraz still lets me know when I'm slacking.

 

[Doctress]

So true... I think I took Georgie the Severe Macaw’s death so hard, was because she was such a steady companion. She was a mean little lady in the beginning, but we developed a strong bond later, which helped me through the deaths of my grandfather (2002), grandmother (2014), wedding (2014), divorce (2015) and plenty of hard times in between. There’s nothing like the love of a bird. She sensed my sadness and pain, and wandered into my room to sit on my head and groom me. Such a sweetheart.

 

[Garet]

My birds really help me a lot. They're really the only thing that gets me up before noon.

On a much darker note, I tend to do some damage to myself when I get nervous or upset or whatever. It's kind of hard to do that when you've got birds constantly needing you to pet them and get them out of trouble or bake for them... and it really was a wake-up call for me when Yen started beaking at an injury that I was hurt and it wasn't something I should hide and it wasn't just going to be okay if I just ignored it and didn't bring it up to my family and the people trying hardest to help me.

 

[TikiMyn]

My fids are my angels! I highly doubt I would be alive without them.

On a much darker note, I tend to do some damage to myself when I get nervous or upset or whatever. It's kind of hard to do that when you've got birds constantly needing you to pet them and get them out of trouble or bake for them... and it really was a wake-up call for me when Yen started beaking at an injury that I was hurt and it wasn't something I should hide and it wasn't just going to be okay if I just ignored it and didn't bring it up to my family and the people trying hardest to help me.

This
I do too, but lately my babies fly to me when I am losing control and sit in the places I hurt. That breaks my heart I can’t Do that to them. I still do it but not around them which helps so much.

My fids really help me so much. I would be nowhere without them. They are the one and only thing tying me to this world