Anxiety and new pet bird

[anne0102]

Hi, I have an anxiety condition but have wanted a pet bird for a long time. My anxiety makes me worry irrationally about things most people barely give a thought to, so I understand it seems a bit crazy. I'm joining this forum to hopefully find support as I bought a baby budgie today and am trying hard not to freak out and hope I don't end up giving her away.

I tried last year but returned the bird within 24 hours because I just felt completely panicked and overwhelmed by it. I know that must seem odd, but anxiety is often irrational.

I hope no one judges me for trying again by getting a budgie a second time. I tried to forget about it but still really wanted one after returning the last one and waited for after Christmas when it's a less stressful time. I thought it's worth having one more try and if I fail this time, I'm never getting another pet again

I got a female hand raised baby, recessive pied mutation I think, mostly yellow and green. She is 3 months old and sleeping in the cage right now. I've fed her some seed from my hand as she hasn't found the food bowl yet and also had her out already on my hand and shoulder because she's so friendly and wanted to come out. She kept giving me kisses, such a sweet little thing. Not too loud, she's chirped a little quietly and had a few angry sounding chirps which were louder, but I think it was because she got hungry and couldn't find the food.

I have felt my anxiety rising a few times and still am, but seem to be controlling it staying calm, so far...Everyone in the family knows what I'm like, so we said let's see how I feel tomorrow and in the next few days before saying we can keep her for sure. Right now I really don't know. Feeling much better than I did last year when I tried though, so that's a good start at least. I'm just trying to keep things normal.

One question so far, as it's winter time and we turn the heaters off overnight, will the bird be okay or get too cold?

 

[Cynthia & Percy]

welcome

 

[aooratrix]

As long as it's comfortable for you and not a drastic change, the bird should be able to adapt. Also, it can't be in a draft.

Birds are not as delicate as we used to think. Focus on what the bird does that you enjoy, not what could go wrong. Pay attention to how you feel when holding or interacting with the bird; do you find yourself calming down? Many have reported that birds and other pets can lower blood pressure when we enjoy their company.

What's your baby's name? Wishing you two a long, fun adventure together.

 

[ArcticFox]

Welcome. The above advice is good.

Your not alone. I have a type of OCD (that sadly isn't focused on cleaning lol) that is paired with anxiety and depression. Everyone here on the board is available to help you with any questions.

 

[sunnysmom]

Welcome!

How cold does it get when you turn the heat off? You can try covering her at night, leaving a gap on the one side to keep her warmer.

It sounds like you and your new birdie are doing very well together already.

 

[Milestone]

Hi, I have an anxiety condition but have wanted a pet bird for a long time. My anxiety makes me worry irrationally about things most people barely give a thought to, so I understand it seems a bit crazy. I'm joining this forum to hopefully find support as I bought a baby budgie today and am trying hard not to freak out and hope I don't end up giving her away.

Hi and welcome to AA. I understand, it doesn't seem crazy to me, I worry about my birds and what I might not be doing right a lot. It drives me insane worrying that I think about rehoming them! You'll find support here, others have given good advice and I'm sure still others will. Keep it up with your little girl your doing great.

 

[Tiel Feathers]

Your little bird sounds so comfortable with you already, I think that is a good sign! I hope it works out for you and her!

 

[anne0102]

Thank you for a warm welcome. I need to check but think the temp overnight goes down to 60 F, its pretty cold when we get up in the morning but heats up fast. I have covered her cage with a blanket, no drafts near her.

She doesn't have a name yet in case we don't keep her, but got a few in mind.

My anxiety is less about the bird itself and more about how having a bird affects my family. I worry she could be too loud and what effect that has on children in the same house? If having a bird fly around during outside cage time could make children nervous of birds or stress them out? Will the bird feel like a huge responsibility for me? Will it demand too much of my time, taking time away from my children? Is the mess birds make from feathers, seeds and poop harmful to us breathing in the same air around it? will it scare my children when it sometimes flaps about in the cage or falls to the cage floor suddenly? Does having a pet make you less of a good parent because you have to focus on the pet now too?

I'm sure there's more but these are my concerns at this very moment. I'm trying to tell myself to ignore them and not be silly overly thinking stuff that probably seems ridiculous and way over dramatic

 

[Tiel Feathers]

My children have always loved having pets, and have never been bothered by any noise or movements. In fact, I would worry more about the pets if the children are loud, etc. I think as long as you clean the cage and vacuum regularly, the kids health should not be effected. In my experience, kids are very adaptable, and I wouldn't worry about the time you spend with the bird. It's good for children to learn to play on their own frequently, and if they are old enough, they can partake in the care of the bird.

 

[anne0102]

Thank you Tiel Feathers. The first thing we did this morning was change the birds water and refill food which they can help with.

The main things stressing me so far are the noise she makes, which I expected but not quite so loud. She can hear birds outside in the morning so wonder if that set her off. I tried covering the cage but she didn't stop even then. So I moved the cage into a bedroom away from us until she quietens down.



Maybe this is her normal volume or she will get quieter once more settled into our home? Its not been 24 hours yet.

The other thing is the children are nervous when she flys about because of all the flapping, I guess they will get used to it? But don't want them feeling nervous in their own home, feeling worried she might fly at any moment. One is also scared she will actually fly to him which he doesn't want.

 

[fluffypoptarts]

The children will adjust. The bird is truly the one more in need of your attentiveness in this situation. Having a little disruption in the form of chirping and flapping might be good for the children. Goodness knows they'll face 10x more on a regular basis once they get older and become adults!

 

[Catlady]

You can get an inexpensive heater for the birdcage from Amazon. Learning to be gentle and responsible with a pet is positive character-building for children. Make sure you supervise them with the bird, as they may not realize your pet's fragility. I don't recall much loudness from the pet parakeet of my childhood, but my Amazon has a pretty loud squawk on her. She may be calling for other birds, but I think she just likes doing it. (Be thankful you did not adopt a cockatoo.) Most pet birds like to be where the people are, so try not to isolate your little feathered friend. Talk to it as much as possible to create a bond. Budgies are smart little tykes and can learn words and phrases. A happy little bird can brighten your day and hopefully calm your anxieties.

 

[Donna turner]

I am one that understands anxiety. It's weird that even cooking supper could stress me and I made a huge mountain out of every molehill . It was awful. I would wake up and have a panic attack. Luckily after many different meds that didn't work I was put on low dose risperidone and in 3 days I was normal. Been 10 years and it still works on same strength . Now, about your bird , I hope you are able to keep her. My little cheeky gives me so much joy and comfort hopefully you will feel the same after awhile. I know how hard it is to ignore those worries you have but just keep coming here for reassurance and advice . These are very loving and caring people. Back to the anxiety. My doctor had tried every class of anti anxiety drugs except tranquilizers and none helped at all. Risperidone is mostly given for OCD but on a hunch he tried it and it worked wonderfully. It literally saved my life. Just telling you this in case you've been down that road with no help. Good luck with your little birdie ,and remember love can include everyone. Get her out and share playing with her with your family. Win win

 

[Pipsqueak]

The pets we have help me with my anxiety, I have days too when I am overwhelmed and scared but then I remember that this would happen with or without the pets. Enjoy your bird, when you have as bad day just tell him, they love being told .

 

[metalstitcher]

I have PTSD and anxiety issues and when I have a bad day I just tell Gracie and cuddle with her and everything is alright. She has been a great companion for me through all the ups and downs.

 

[anne0102]

Thank you for sharing experiences.
She has seemed quieter today, but we were out most of the morning so might have just missed it.

The children are more at ease with her which happened quickest for the toddler. I just smile or make it seem fun when the bird lands on my head or flies back to the cage and now they are less bothered by it. That didn't take long.

I think I'm leaning towards rehoming her right now for two reasons. First as I mentioned the noise, like Mizzely said too, it seems to make me suddenly feel quite anxious with the loud chirps, though today for the first time I noticed I wasn't feeling as stressed on the few occasions I heard it. Do you think owners get used to bird sounds? My toddler also didn't look over at the cage when she heard it every time.

My second reason is quality of life for the bird. Being hand raised since a chick I wonder if it's made her more demanding of attention? I feel bad not letting her out more or interacting with her more. If I kept her it would be kinder to get her a bird friend, but the noise of two I can't imagine how stressful for me.

We've had some cute moments lately when she sits in my hand snuggled in while I stroke her cheeks, head and neck, a bird massage? She tilts her head and puffs her feathers, even closing her eyes as though she enjoys it. Very sweet moments with her.

 

[Mizzely]

Yes, you can get used to the sounds. Even with mine I can deal with it most days.

Birds are flock creatures, so they are demanding of a lot of attention. And as a hand raised bird, they are more imprinted on people, meaning they will look to you for that attention. So if you can't provide it, they will need a companion of some sort.

I think you need to determine why you want a bird though and what your expectations are for the future.

 

[metalstitcher]

If your anxiety is very high to the point you are having a hard time with the noise alone I don't think a bird would be the best pet for you if it hasn't been a week and you are already thinking of re-homing. As @Mizzely said you need to really think about why you want a bird for a pet, what are going to be the long term benefits for you and what are you going to be able to do for your bird? They are very demanding and they do make a lot of noise because it is part of their nature.

 

[Calpurnia]

I agree with @metalstitcher. I am lucky to not have to deal with true anxiety and I still get annoyed at all of the birds chirping and hollering on some days. There are days when I'm exhausted from work and have to come home and make a concious effort to socialize the birds for a few hours before I make dinner and relax.

I think most people don't realize right away that owning parrots is not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Sure they're cute and quiet and not begging for attention 50% of the time..... Its the other 50% of mayhem, mess, neediness, and noise (all of which is completely normal) that people aren't prepared for.

I'd hate to see an obviously sweet bird rehomed so soon but is noise and hours of daily socialization something you can deal with for the next 10-15 years @anne0102? If this sounds daunting, anxiety-inducing, or otherwise unpalatable then it's better to find this bird a good home sooner rather than later.

 

[SueA555]

I have PTSD, and Joey gives me a reason to get out of bed even if I don't want to.

When I was about eight, I got Cuddles, my first budgie. He was wonderful. Now I have Joey, and sometimes I worry too if I am doing everything I should to take care of him. But I've had him for 18 years, since he was a baby, and he seems just fine. Birds can be very adaptable. Maybe give her a little more time?