I second that. Buddy is a shoulder bird and she's a giant pain to get down when she chooses to be. She's very good with hands, but I wouldn't want to go through what we have to with an insecure or flighty fid.
but unexpectedly (and surprisingly!) we discovered by accident that he is also in love with our Chiweenie! They have never been allowed to be together (we dont trust the furbabies to not hurt the feathered little) so we usually lock them up if he's out. I have noticed though that when Oreo is around the cage, Pearl gets very interested. One afternoon I happened to have the dog in my arms not far from the cage and Pearl came climbing over and talking up a storm so we walked over and he started happy singing and wolf whistling to Oreo! He has yet to be that happy to see me 
He still hasnt forgiven the hands but at least he feels a part of the family!
we're always excited when he decides to join us. So he sits on the door just hanging out next to me for awhile and then I decided to finish my kitchen chores and see what he did. After a few minutes he flew out into the living room and landed at the floor behind the couch facing our stairs (split level home where you come up into the living room) So I walked down to make sure he was ok but left him alone at first and just talked to him. I could tell that he felt he wasnt going to be able to get out of the area he was in and there wasnt enough wing room for take off so I finally decided to chance the fingers to help him out. Offered my arm first but couldnt get it through the railing to help him and he was sliding on the bottom of the lamppost not looking like he was feeling trying to get off of that very well. So, taking the risk that he may not want my hands near him still, I gave it a try (fully expecting his usual angry reaction) and instead, he put his little crest up and just as gently as you please stepped up on my finger! I feel like I won the lottery!!
so he flew from my finger to my head and then tried flying again landing somewhat up the stairs. Still sweet talking him like crazy, I slowly offered my finger again and he stepped up with no aggression looking quite happy to do so!! 
I want to jump for joy but he's on my shoulder happily grooming his feet--heeheeheeheehee Im so excited!! Yippee! I was starting to worry that we would run out of time with this little elderly birdie before he ever trusted me again! and folks, I have birdie-itis! Fell in LOVE with a lonely little blue quaker that got separated from his friend at the pet store. I know the general consensus is that I shouldnt have him on my shoulder but he seems to prefer that over hanging on my arm or anywhere else and weve been getting him off by offering the perch and his favorite "friend" in the mirror to go back to the cage. at this moment, he is napping on my neck--aaawwwwwwww
were back to "im gonna bite you" if I try and put my hand near him but its seems a little less intense and im hoping that were still plugging along towards full trust Hes still happy to see me at least
Yes, that does seem to be the case. He happily lets me rescue him. Ive noticed that when the hubby puts his hand up to try, the reaction is still definitely 'No' and if I try he might open in the biting motion but not every time (and no verbal protest anymore) As soon as I put my hand back down he comes right back over. Patience...the word of the month
(might end up being the word of the year..but we're rolling with it ) thanks everyone for sticking this out with us! 
at least I know he's happier. He has started hanging out on the front perch more and more (instead of hanging in the back) and hes interacting with us every day. His life is better now, no doubt.
I need to work on how to entice him to trust being out of the cage. Reaching in and attempting to get him out in any fashion I think would be a mistake...So, I guess thats why I ask. I really appreciate all of the responses and advice you all have given me so far and I have been learning a lot reading through the other forum posts AND share two of the cutest recent pics 
He enjoys traveling around the house with me while I do chores in the evening I almost forgot.. slow introductions and lots of supervision, we no longer have to lock up the furbabies when Pearl is out so that has made things much more relaxed and harmonious My cat pretty much ignores him and my dog doesnt understand why this little creature loves him so much and it has seriously dampened his curiosity (lol) We leave the cage open every night and just let him visit with us on his terms. 
He doesnt come out of the cage very often, yet, but can be coaxed out at times. Tonight it took him 3-5 minutes of begging/yelling for a bite of the puffed corn I was eating (I wouldnt just give it to him in the cage but instead offered it just outside the open door) finally he couldnt stand it and he came out on the door for the snack. When he was done he went back in. It was late so we just called it a night at that point. I think that's my next goal- to make out here with us WAY more fun & interesting than in there alone He still treats his toys like mates?friends?flock? and I find him putting his head down for scritches near a toy. I know he wants the love just doesnt expect it out here. We're getting there
