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Mum wont listen..help??

CrazyBirdChick

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Welcome to the Avenue, @Mia_Aim!
I am so sorry for what you're dealing with. It sounds incredibly stressful for you and Tortoro.

As much as I can understand wanting to get in your mom's face, as some members have suggested, I would highly advise not doing anything like that. Guys, she's a minor and we don't know her mother. She might get extremely mad and either kick you out or rehome the bird or something else extreme.

I think @Darklotus555 gave you some really good advice. Next time your mom says she doesn't understand why birds are not like dogs or cats maybe try calmly explaining to her that birds are prey animals and dogs and cats are predators so their whole mentality is different. I would just try to be as calm and respectful to your mom as possible, even though I know what she did was very unnerving. Maybe see if you can get a lock to your room, if possible
 

Ripshod

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Is your mum Internet savvy? Try getting her to have a look at this forum. She really doesn't have to dig that far to get the info she needs to see.
Actually it doesn't need to be direct to this forum. A lot of questions you ask Google will bring up loads of results from this forum.
 

Mia_Aim

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Shelby
She is quite internet savvy however she has no interest in learning about birds. Once she's made her mind up it's hard to change it.
 

Ripshod

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I really feel for you. It just seems a lot of adults just won't/can't accept that their children know a lot more about a subject than they do. I hope together we can find a way around this for Totoro's sake.
 

TinyFeathers

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I agree what everyone else is saying. Hopefully she soon understands birds! Explain to her that this is your pet, you can care for it on your own, and if anything happens to it, that would be your fault not hers. I think you can care for the bird though, just something that might make her back off. This might make her feel less responsibility and leave you alone. But i don't know your mom, so i can't help much. Good luck! Hope she leaves you and your bird alone.
 

tka

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I would highly advise not getting up in your mum's face - if I'd done that as a minor, I would have got a slap!

I would advise a two pronged approach. First, get your hands on as much bird-related material as you can. Print off factsheets, print off stuff about animal behavior, positive reinforcement and force-free training, ask for subscriptions to bird magazines for your birthday/Christmas and talk about these incessantly. If you can get your hands on some impressive looking books or academic journal articles, so much the better. We can probably give you some suggestions. Your goal here is to demonstrate that you are the expert and that you're educating yourself as much as possible on the subject, far beyond what your mum has done.

The second thing is to say that your tiel is your bird. You have a training plan for them and it's vital that no one else interferes. If they want to interact with your bird, they must do exactly as you say. You must demonstrate that you're responsible. Again, we can help you if you have questions or worries.

Your instincts are good. You're absolutely right to give Totoro time and space. My bird didn't want me to touch her for a month and two years later, she dozes on my shoulder, insists on headscratches and even wants me to scratch her eyelids and her earholes and occasionally tongue! It's a relationship that can last for decades, so going slowly and working on a really solid foundation of trust is a good thing.
 

MaxieTheBirdie

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Kevin Dolby
Then you have a option and that is to put a lock on the cage door.
I Agree, what she is doing is actually a legal misdemeanor according to the Animal Welfare Act...
You're mother can get charged for the abuse of you're beautiful cockatiel and this may sound crazy but if you do put a lock on you're cage but yet she still demands you to open it you have the right to call the police or report her.
But that is last ditch resort, Try to reason with you're mother and violence isn't encouraged but when it comes down to it you're bird can't defend itself so it's up to you to protect you're bird.
It's sad that humans abuse birds and animals for that matter from everyone they abuse the voiceless...:mad:
Be the voice of you're bird... I know the situation you're in but you've got to do what has to be done.
 

Monica

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Maybe some videos of cockatiels doing tricks will show that they aren't that stupid after all??


 

Doolish

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Hi, I can't offer much advice, but I wanted to say I understand how it is, growing up with a controlling, overbearing mother, who thinks you just don't know anything. I'm 41 and my mother still thinks I know nothing. All the best with your little bird.
 

Pipper

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Andy
You mother is abusing you & the bird. Report her to police. If that doesn't work discreetly visit social welfare to see what they can do to remove you from that abusive house. One of these days you are going to have to do no more than stay for more than a 30 minute visit to your mother anyway so as to not give her the opportunity to abuse you. You may need to cut off all contact with her. It's emotionally distressing to think you have to treat your relationship with your mother like a spouse that divorced their abusive spouse but that's the situation you described.
 
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