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My beloved Zane

SquawksNibbles

Rollerblading along the road
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Kiera
This is terrible. I'm so very sorry, Sarah. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now. You and Echo will be in my prayers. :sadhug2::bluhug:

Do not blame yourself. I have not been on this forum for that long, but I have seen and heard enough to know that you loved Zane very much and you did the absolute best you could for him. I agree with so many others here, he couldn't have gone to a better home. The last 14 years of his life he had with you were the best, just remember that. He was such a big, beautiful boy and I love the pictures and videos you posted.

Thank you for sharing Zane with us and posting many photos and videos of the sweet boy. He always brought a smile to my face. He will always be remembered here on the avenue. RIP Zane. :sorrow:
 

Begone

Joyriding the Neighborhood
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He always brought a smile to my face. He will always be remembered here on the avenue.
To me too, and I will never forget him. ♥
And now I'm even more happy for that gift that Karen gave me. (that beautiful Fabulous Feathers print that Sadie did ♥)

And how are you and Echo doing Sarah?
You don't need to tell if you don't want to, but you should know that I think of you a lot.
Love and lots of hugs from me. ♥
 

Sarahmoluccan

Biking along the boulevard
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To me too, and I will never forget him. ♥
And now I'm even more happy for that gift that Karen gave me. (that beautiful Fabulous Feathers print that Sadie did ♥)

And how are you and Echo doing Sarah?
You don't need to tell if you don't want to, but you should know that I think of you a lot.
Love and lots of hugs from me. ♥
Thanks @Eloy and @SquawksNibbles
it means a lot to me that he's remember by AA members. I'm doing ok... I'm pretty depressed and mostly just want to sleep. It's hard. I get up for Echo of course. He's doing ok too. I'm still waiting for the results of the necropsy to come back.... I'm still numb but I accept he's really gone now... I never thought it would hit me this hard. I know he was an old bird but I still wanted more time... I'm glad he's no longer in pain thou

Happier times with Zane and Echo
 

Begone

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Adorable video! ♥
It's hard.
I understand that. :( I hope that is soon feels better, and that you can feel that we all are here for you when you need it. ♥
If you want to talk in private you can PM me, and if you think that you will understand my bad english we can also talk in phone if you want that. (I have Skype)
 

faislaq

I have macaws and don't post enough pictures
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Adorable video! ♥

I understand that. :( I hope that is soon feels better, and that you can feel that we all are here for you when you need it. ♥
If you want to talk in private you can PM me, and if you think that you will understand my bad english we can also talk in phone if you want that. (I have Skype)
What I think it would be like to Skype with the elusive J.T:

:D
 

Catherine89

Rollerblading along the road
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I know it’s hard losing a beloved family member. He knew you loved him and the best thing you can do is celebrate the life he had with you because you made it wonderful for him. You and Echo are in my thoughts and prayers . It’s hard right now I know but it will get easier . He’s will always be with you just remember that :sadhug2:
 

Sylvester

Hit the Road
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7/12/17
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Urg!! Today was really rough. I don't know what to do with myself without him. There were still people I wanted him to meet and plans of what I wanted to do in the summer with him that will never happen now. I wish took more pictures and videos of him. It's both unreal to me that Zane's gone and yet all too real that he is.

It's so odd to only have one cockatoo now. I want two again. It's too soon of course to start thinking about that. It's hard thou cause I don't think that's even a possibility. Even when I'm emotionally ready I'll probably never be financially able to. It's hard. I don't want to replace him of course. It's just so odd its been 11 years of having more than one bird. Before Echo there was Sam my cockatiel. And how Echo will cope being an only bird is up in the air. I think he'll be ok but I dunno.

I'm still blaming myself for not getting him to the vets sooner and realizing how ill he was. The day of the vet appointment he was so sleepy after it. But he's always sleepy after an appointment. But then he perked up and was running around on the floor all happy. I knew it was serious but I really thought he could make it. I miss my boy so much...

The two guiltiest words after a loss is "what if......" You can 'what if' yourself to death. From what I read about Zane is that 14 years ago he was near death in a dumpster that some lowlife put him in. You rescued him and probably gave him the best 14 years of his whole life. Now instead of saying 'what if' about taking Zane to a vet, start saying those two words about rescuing him years ago. "What if" nobody had walked by that dumpster, 'what if' I hadn't of rescued him? The outcome would have been Zane dying a slow and painful death with nobody around to love him. YOU changed all of that.

Now think about what you did do for that sweet guy and erase the 'what if's' from you mind. You were his whole world and he loved you.
 

Sarahmoluccan

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The two guiltiest words after a loss is "what if......" You can 'what if' yourself to death. From what I read about Zane is that 14 years ago he was near death in a dumpster that some lowlife put him in. You rescued him and probably gave him the best 14 years of his whole life. Now instead of saying 'what if' about taking Zane to a vet, start saying those two words about rescuing him years ago. "What if" nobody had walked by that dumpster, 'what if' I hadn't of rescued him? The outcome would have been Zane dying a slow and painful death with nobody around to love him. YOU changed all of that.

Now think about what you did do for that sweet guy and erase the 'what if's' from you mind. You were his whole world and he loved you.
That's very true. The "what ifs" are horrible. I'm starting to slowly let go of them. But it's hard. All I ever wanted was to give the best life I could for him. Sometimes my depression would get in the way of that. But I tried to the best and there's nothing I can do to change past now. Zane was well loved and I think he knew that. He went quickly and didn't seem to suffer much. He was a happy bird all the way until the end. And I'll always be greatful for that
 

Bokkapooh

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I am so sorry for your loss. He loved you and he couldn't have asked for a better human than you to spend the rest of his days.

I'm so sorry for your loss. These words cannot convey how I feel right now. Whenever I hear of someone losing their cockatoo I tear up pretty badly.
 

faislaq

I have macaws and don't post enough pictures
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The two guiltiest words after a loss is "what if......" You can 'what if' yourself to death. From what I read about Zane is that 14 years ago he was near death in a dumpster that some lowlife put him in. You rescued him and probably gave him the best 14 years of his whole life. Now instead of saying 'what if' about taking Zane to a vet, start saying those two words about rescuing him years ago. "What if" nobody had walked by that dumpster, 'what if' I hadn't of rescued him? The outcome would have been Zane dying a slow and painful death with nobody around to love him. YOU changed all of that.

Now think about what you did do for that sweet guy and erase the 'what if's' from you mind. You were his whole world and he loved you.
Very well said, very true.
 

rocky'smom

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oh no Sarah, I am so, so, so, sorry that you lost Zane. the what if can haunt you if you let them. but you know that you did everything possible to help Zane. you gave him the best life that he could ever have.
they fly into our hearts and leave feather dust on our souls forever. fly high sweet Zane, go play with Rocky and Tuffy they love to have friends.
 

Sweet Louise

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Sarah, Zane was a special bird and you are a super parront. I know you got Zane from a rescue. In honor of Zane and your rescue of him, I am making a donation to a local bird rescue. I want other birds to have the same chance at happiness that Zane had. I can't do much to relieve your sadness, but I can do this to honor you and Zane. I wish you peace and lovely memories.
 

Sarahmoluccan

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Sarah, Zane was a special bird and you are a super parront. I know you got Zane from a rescue. In honor of Zane and your rescue of him, I am making a donation to a local bird rescue. I want other birds to have the same chance at happiness that Zane had. I can't do much to relieve your sadness, but I can do this to honor you and Zane. I wish you peace and lovely memories.
Thank you so much for that. It's a beautiful way to honored him. I really appreciate it :heart:
 

Aubrey

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Sarah, I'm very very sorry for your loss :sorrow: Zane was a special bird and you are a special woman :heart:

Fly in peace Zane bird:fly2:
 

Sylvester

Hit the Road
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That's very true. The "what ifs" are horrible. I'm starting to slowly let go of them. But it's hard. All I ever wanted was to give the best life I could for him. Sometimes my depression would get in the way of that. But I tried to the best and there's nothing I can do to change past now. Zane was well loved and I think he knew that. He went quickly and didn't seem to suffer much. He was a happy bird all the way until the end. And I'll always be greatful for that
I hear you when it comes to that insidious demon, 'depression'. I's a hard one to beat back. You took him places, got him medical care, gave him good food, toys, and lots of love. From what I could see from his last night, he was indeed a very happy bird.
 

Sarahmoluccan

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Zane's necropsy results came back to my vet today. I should get email explaining the report today or tomorrow. The one thing I know right now is he had hardening of his arteries likely due to age...

The "what ifs" still bother me... hopefully with more information I can let some of them go. I'm still adjusting to my new normal. At first looking at pictures and videos of him was so comforting now it's really hard to do... All of this is just really hard.
 
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