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I now understand why a parrot can die from a broken heart
- Thread starter fauxbird
- Start date
fauxbird
Walking the driveway
i think the hardest part is being alone my world revolved around him and his around me i also don't drive depth perception problem so i have been around the house getting things together,and though i don't think i really want to be alone I'm not looking forward to the idea of dating again keep in mind I'm only going to be 50 in April,on a good note my sister and my nieces and i will be picking up little steve tomorrow in germansville pa and than taking my younger niece to check out a collage in scranton pa(crimson bellied conure)i was going to name him grover but as a last joke dig at my husband named him steve and yes he would think it was funny.
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SandraK
Ripping up the road
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Sudden death of a loved one is difficult and shocking, but you also have the burden of it being the death of a relatively young loved one: a really devastating one/two knockout punch. I am so sorry for your loss and understand the bewildering feeling you are experiencing. My first wife, Pam died suddenly of complications of sleep apnea when she was 47. It destroyed my world and reality. I can only say you will get through this and there is rewarding and life worth living ahead of you. Keep moving and hang in there and above all value yourself by finding where you want to do, go, and be now fate has thrown you this opportunity to rebuild your life as you can. It takes a while to grieve your loss and adjust to being alone when before you always had another person to help and support you, but you can go on alone for at least a while and maximize your self.
Your husband was a unique, special gift from Goddess and for some reason She called him from your side. Only She knows why, but obviously She has other plans film you. If I can help in any way, email me personally. I shall light a candle for the delivery of warm, fuzzy hugs and supporting, healing energy to you in this most bewildering of times. Be strong and kind to yourself. Life goes on. You will prosper.
Lois
Your husband was a unique, special gift from Goddess and for some reason She called him from your side. Only She knows why, but obviously She has other plans film you. If I can help in any way, email me personally. I shall light a candle for the delivery of warm, fuzzy hugs and supporting, healing energy to you in this most bewildering of times. Be strong and kind to yourself. Life goes on. You will prosper.
Lois
I am so very sorry for your loss...appreciate that you got to spend those years together that is a great gift....
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. I want to share with you the comment that I found on reddit once upon a time in response to someone losing someone special to them. the author is GSnow, it's not my work but here it is, and I hope it makes you feel a little better:
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
in any case, please feel free to message me at any point and I'll be glad to speak with you. I'm sending you positive vibes, peace, love, good feelings, and everything like that your way in this time of your life. please know that you have those around you who love you and judging from the comments on this thread those here love you as well and wish for the pain in your heart to ease with time. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
SandraK
Ripping up the road
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fauxbird
Walking the driveway
thank you and i wish more people understood and were so caring,and as my torture continues i was told i could stay well they said free but i told my in laws i could not do that when i got some money from social services i would pay them something and when i got a job i would pay more as i would not feel right staying for free,well now I'm told i must leave as my adult niece and her boyfriend did not shovel snow and their landlord told them they have to leave, since their getting married in august they need to save money so in turn i must leave as money is more important than my feelings of the little bit of comfort i had staying were we lived for the last 21 years, plus they have more than i do both have jobs working for his father and I'm still job searching and now will have to look closer to my mom, oh and i get to throw out half of 21 years of my life including the select comfort queen sized couch bed we shared(as no way it will fit in my moms house)and i have to down size the birds into two smaller cages as no way the double cage i have will fit anywhere either(she has a couple cats)and were planing to put them in her room for now, eventually my younger sister will be moving in with her boyfriend and i will get her basement bedroom but when that will happen i dont know.so this has been nothing but a big fight I'm guessing his parents can't help at all only hers and his have money, and yes my husband probably would have left but i dont have anything by myself and i have a big dog and the two birds so not so simple, oh and this brother offered me 350 for all the carpenters tools my husband had i told him he can't have any for such an insult, his older brother offered me 800 i told him to come by and look because he has no idea how many tools there are, than our friend bill who's 78 and has had skin cancer treatment a year ago has been coming by to drive me places he comes from an hour away,so the night they told me i had to leave i was up crying my eyes out and we did not notice the time it ended up being late so i told him to go sleep on the bed and i sat at the computer all the rest of the night because of my concern for his safety they think I've moved on and i told them their sick in the head nasty people.
Cynthia & Percy
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