Convincing My Parents?

[Birds&Broadway]

My dad loves animals, so if we got one, he would fall in love with it. I know it.

Also, if i got a bird, my family would give that up, they're that kind of family. I do not want too buy a bird from petsmart or petco, and I don't think there are bird rescues near me, so I would have to wait for the specialty store to get some in, which I asked them about already, and they said it would be a while.

When we go on vacations, I have very close animal loving friends who have had birds before. I would feel very comfortable leaving it with them.

From what you all are saying, I feel like birds are bad pets for anyone who don't have their own house, even though many bird experts say they're great for families, especially ones who love animals and have experience.

 

[sunnysmom]

My dad loves animals, so if we got one, he would fall in love with it. I know it.

Also, if i got a bird, my family would give that up, they're that kind of family. I do not want too buy a bird from petsmart or petco, and I don't think there are bird rescues near me, so I would have to wait for the specialty store to get some in, which I asked them about already, and they said it would be a while.

When we go on vacations, I have very close animal loving friends who have had birds before. I would feel very comfortable leaving it with them.

From what you all are saying, I feel like birds are bad pets for anyone who don't have their own house, even though many bird experts say they're great for families, especially ones who love animals and have experience.

I don't think that's what people are meaning to say- including me. It's just that having a bird really affects everyone who lives in the house. If your family is in favor of it, that's wonderful. I think we're all just saying everyone- regardless of age- really needs to get all the pertinent info before making the decision to get a bird. Which I'm assuming is why you're here. And I think everyone just wants to paint a realistic pictures. Parrots are wonderful but they're not for everyone. And we've all seen too many birds get rehomed, neglected etc. So I think we try to paint a clear picture-- the good and the bad- for perspective owners.

 

[Birds&Broadway]

Thank you. I'm going to talk to my parents about fostering a bird from a shelter in san francisco. Its called mickaboo (Mickaboo | Don't breed, don't buy ...adopt a rescued bird! They have a huge variety of birds that you can meet.

 

[Birds&Broadway]

for fostering, i am looking at segals, ring necks, cockatiels, and some greys

 

[Birds&Broadway]

and conures

 

[FLmom]

I know how it feels when you get your heart set on something. It's tough to reason and think of all the things that can go wrong. I don't think anyone on here intended to make you feel badly. I am an adult and I came here and asked for advice on adding a grey to my family and once I laid out the true scenario everyone posted it was probably a bad idea for me at this point in my life. Not easy to hear but I was looking for opinions and they gave their true opinions.

You originally posted that your parents were against it and I think that's a red flag because having a parrot in the home really does effect everyone. I have a caique and I can tell you for sure that's not a good idea for you right now.

I'd say cockatiel or a senigal. And I love your new idea on fostering and getting involved with a rescue. That's a great way to meet all kinds of birds and really see what you click with. I am sure you will be an excellent bird person one day when the time is right. Whether that is now or a little down the road. Please stick around here for all the advice and don't take it personally if it's hard advice to hear.

 

[Tim]

Fostering is a great idea for you! You came up with a solution that allows everyone to move slowly, do good work in the process and allow you to experience different species in your own home. That itself shows a high level of maturity and responsibility.

 

[JLcribber]

Thank you. I'm going to talk to my parents about fostering a bird from a shelter in san francisco. Its called mickaboo (Mickaboo | Don't breed, don't buy ...adopt a rescued bird! They have a huge variety of birds that you can meet.

Outstanding. If your dad gets on board and is involved in some way with the bird that chooses you then there's potential for good things to happen.

 

[Birds&Broadway]

i talked to my mom about fostering. she said it would be a good idea, but it would just be too hard on me if i bonded with the bird to let it go

 

[JLcribber]

i talked to my mom about fostering. she said it would be a good idea, but it would just be too hard on me if i bonded with the bird to let it go

If you bond with the bird and it works out the bird doesn't go anywhere? That's the whole point.

 

[TWR]

If you bond with it, you keep it.

 

[Birds&Broadway]

no, i mean if i bond with it but my parents won't let me keep and ill have to give it to the adoption parent

 

[TWR]

Same thing if you buy a bird, bond with it, and your parents won't let you keep it - except with fostering it is not quite so hard on the bird, as at least it goes back to a good place, a familiar place (the bird shelter). Being sent back to the bird store (even the "speciality" bird store) is not a good option for the bird.

It still sounds as if your mum isn't 100% on board, if she is talking of a potential scenario where your parents may not allow the bird to stay.

 

[echobird]

If they don't want you to keep the foster than there's a slim chance they'll let you buy a bird as well.

Fostering is the way to go. Mickaboo does have certain requirements for fosters and you'll only be able to foster if you meet those requirements. They will do a house screening.

Try it anyway. Fostering is the best way to find out if a bird is truly the pet for you and your family.

 

[alicat]

Fostering really would be great! No one is trying to discourage you, just being realistic.

Birds are different to care for than other animals. You can Google and read up a lot, but once you get one it's very different. They're not the type of animals where you could go on vacation and they'll be fine with someone just changing their water or taking them for a few walks, like a hamster or dog. Chances are they want YOU. If I was gone for a weekend my tiel would be miserable. She doesn't like strangers and just having someone change food and water isn't enough. They need serious bonding time daily, with their hooooman that they love.

However I would recommend a tiel and maybe even a senegal. They're supposed to be nice birds. My tiel is amazing.
BUT. honestly I consider him more work than my dog, and he stresses me out a lot more. Since he's in my room, he went through a phase where he liked waking up at 7am. I work nights shift. There was nothing I could do except suffer through it and wake up and spend time with him. It was exhausting. I can hear him contact calling me outside my apartment building when I leave. You could hear my lovebirds that were upstairs, in my downstairs living room.

Not to mention SO MUCH is going to happen in your life. Starting to work, dating, school. Eventually moving out. What if your future roommate doesn't like birds? They affect everyone in your house. They are LOUD. walls don't help. My bird wakes up my roommate some mornings. Birds pluck and get lonely or stressed or when alone for too long. Can you be sure you'll be home to spend hours with him every single day for 15, 20, 40 years? No weekends away with friends, because your bird will miss you.

I just can't stress enough that they're not like a dog or bearded dragon. They are much much more like a child, and one that wants and demands your attention regardless of it you have the time or energy.

edit: and this is just me with a tiel. A sun conure with their noise.... i would probably be evicted or my roommate would have killed me.

 

[TWR]

I may be misinterpreting the scenario, but if you have your parents approval only insofar as its a trial (i.e. purchase from the pet shop and you may or may not be allowed to keep the bird) then I feel the time isn't quite right for you to get a bird quite yet - unless it's a trial foster situation from a bird shelter.

Fostering, if you get approval from the shelter and your parents, seems the better way for you to move forward.

Otherwise, it's not fair in the bird.

You sound like a wonderful and responsible pet owner and if you're committed, the one day the time will be right for you (either fostering now or later).

BTW, rescuing from a shelter is always the best option, if possible.

 

[Birds&Broadway]

Ok one thing I should make clear: If i got the bird, my parents wouldn't make me give it away. That's always my decision.

The other thing.....

I emailed the rescue and am waiting for a response. If you foster the bird from mickaboo, you keep until someone buys it or you buy it, you don't just keep it for a week and then return it.

 

[alicat]

Ok one thing I should make clear: If i got the bird, my parents wouldn't make me give it away. That's always my decision.

The other thing.....

I emailed the rescue and am waiting for a response. If you foster the bird from mickaboo, you keep until someone buys it or you buy it, you don't just keep it for a week and then return it.

Your parents might not make you give it away but....
What's going to happen when you go to college?
Get a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Get a job?
Try to move out?
What if you can't find a place that accepts pets?
What if you DO any your noisy bird gets you evicted?
What happens if you're trying to do school/dating/work/your other pets AND you have this bird? They aren't like other pets, again. Imagine doing all this with a 2 year old. That's what they are. They need that much attention.
What if you're doing all this and your bird starts self mutilating? Would you be willing to lose sleep, no naps, etc to give it the extra time it will need?

You're ignoring very important questions!

eta: totally not trying to come off as mean, but these are things that will likely happen to you in the next few years. I'm 23 years old and these are still things I worry about. There's no way as a teen I could have had a parrot with how many life transitions I've gone through... there are some teens that can and have but they've made huge sacrifices and worked extremely hard to make their lives accommodate their fids

 

[Beth In Alaska]

So, my husband wasn't liking the idea of birds either. It wasn't until he met some that he changed his mind.
Tell your mom you just want to learn about them and find opportunities to meet some. Make her come. Hopefully she will decide she likes birds.

 

[TWR]

Ok one thing I should make clear: If i got the bird, my parents wouldn't make me give it away. That's always my decision.

that's excellent! Then you won't having the situation of bonding, and then needing to return it to the shelter. One of your earlier posts made it seem that was very definitely a possibility

no, i mean if i bond with it but my parents won't let me keep and ill have to give it to the adoption parent

I'm glad that's not the case