• Welcome to Avian Avenue! To view our forum with less advertisments please register with us.
    Memberships are free and it will just take a moment. Click here

Pictures It's official muffin hates me....

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
So things started out fairly good...we were actually making head way. I am her primary care giver....no one else wants to mess with her. After her attacking my bather several times I kept her caged while she was around. Then one morning I went to open shop and she was hanging on her door bobbing her head. I said, "HI muffin, you ready to come out?" I opened her cage and she stepped up...I didn't get two steps away before her top knot raised and she went for my face. I dropped my arm and she crawled as close to me as possible and began her vicious attacks. This was the fifth attack and the worst one. I distracted her with my other hand and calmly walked over to her play stand. She stepped off me and acted calm....'HELLO muffin.' she said in the sweetest voice possible. If I hadn't been wearing a long shirt it would have been worse. Now If I go anywhere near her cage she gives me the stink eye and gets up really high above my head and raises her crest and fluffs her feathers. My husband can get her out and do whatever he wants with her. But he doesn't have any interest in her at all!!! I can't leave her locked up all the time even if it is a huge cage. Yet I don't want to fight with her. I have been offering food through the cage and petting her through the cage but she makes it known that if she was out....she is going to attack...her body language says it all.
 

Attachments

Hrtofau2

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Joined
7/9/13
Messages
2,580
Location
SE Washington
Real Name
Summer
I totally understand your pain. All I can say is hang in there. Keep at it, you may never have the relationship your husband has with her, but you can build at least an understanding. :hug8:
 

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
I lost my nerve with her this last week over it....but I am slowly coming around and handling her again. I test her out on the other Side of the cage door. If she shows any aggression...she doesn't get to come out. Just trying to test her mood and avoid the attacks as much as possible. On saturday we spent a good two hours outside with her while we worked. She seemed quieter and content.
 

msplantladi

Jogging around the block
Avenue Veteran
Joined
9/11/14
Messages
716
How are things going? Birds can be one of the hardest pets to have, learning to read body language is one of the secrets, also thinking in mind hormones play a huge role in their lives. If you are trying to bond w/ her I would try interacting when hubby isn't around. Keep the bonding sessions short & watch for when she gets nervous-that is usually when bites occur. Find a treat she likes & save those for bonding times, praise her when she does something you want to enforce and give a treat. Could be the simplest steps but positive reinforcements are the key.It takes time, be patient & remember it isn't going to happen over night and there will be days when you will feel like you are taking 10 steps backward. Make sure she gets lots of out of the cage exercise as birds have very high energy levels. Good luck & keep us posted.
 

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
That is the problem.....I cannot get her out of her cage anymore. Her body language is very aggressive on the other Side and I know if I let her out I am going to get attacked. I am the only one that she has....I have her cage beside me all day while I work. She gives me glaring looks. I approach with her favorite treat and when I give it to her she grabs it and throws it. I talk softly to her and try to give her scratches....she tries to bite my finger off with her feathers raised and crest high. I am so discouraged. I don't know anything about her last home except that she was always caged. My husband works out of town and doesn't see her much but she adores him. Am I just the wrong home??? If she prefers men am I fighting a losing battle? She liked me in the beginning but now the honeymoon is over. She really does not like me at all and every day is getting worse. I feel guilty like I am keeping her when she would be happier living with a man. :(
 

Wasabisaurus

Cruising the avenue
Avenue Veteran
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
2/2/10
Messages
10,561
Location
Birdsville
Wow, what a terrible bruise! My last bruise with my Amazon was quite bad, too. I don't know Muffin's story. Is she adopted? A rescue?
 

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
A rescue from a organization that got her from a old lady that had a stroke. She was oak nutrition and in a small cage with two cockatiels. They never let her out supposedly. But honestly I did not get more info than that and they only had her for a week at the organization. If I knew she had a preference for men I wouldn't have adopted her.
 

msplantladi

Jogging around the block
Avenue Veteran
Joined
9/11/14
Messages
716
If she was never let out of her cage that is going to take a long time to get over. That cage is her safe haven. I would just keep building that trust, its going to take time.
 

Bokkapooh

Ripping up the road
Avenue Veteran
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
10/18/09
Messages
25,464
Location
Pacific Northwest
Real Name
Mercedez
Are you able to move her cage and then just open the cage up and let her come out on her own?

Have you thought about trying positive reinforcement? Target training?
 

Wasabisaurus

Cruising the avenue
Avenue Veteran
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
2/2/10
Messages
10,561
Location
Birdsville
Is it possible to let her out only when your husband is around, for your safety? Start there. At least she will be out for a while -- unless she attacks you. Then it's back in the cage. It might take a long time for her to come out and not bite. Birds work on their own timetable and pace. Don't try too hard and maybe she will decide to seek you out if you do not show interest.

Try having hubby hold her and slowly you offer your hand for a step up. Or have hubby hold the bird as you and he sit down watching the telly or something. Talk to her but don't try holding her. Then ignore her. Do not try to hard.

If a bird does not want to come out of the cage or poses a safety threat when it does and must stay in, it is not the end of the world and does not mean you are a bad owner. You greatly improved the bird's life already. (I don't know why this changed the font and size!)

Go at her pace - if she wants to have any kind of a relationship. If she does not, she has a wonderful safe home, anyway......that's how I approach it with one of my male tiels. He hates and and bites every chance he gets. Hates us getting in and around the cage. So, we have resigned ourselves to the fact that he is hands off. He has a buddy tiel in the next cage, a big cage, great food, toys, and regular vet care. He has it 100% better than he did when in the animal shelter.

So, as good bird parents, we provide all that regardless of him not liking us. It's just the way it is. There is no changing him and that is OK. Everyone wants a bird they can interact with, but the bird's life experience might not make that possible. In that case, in my humble opinion, provide for the bird for the purpose of being a good and kind bird owner with no expectations. That might not be easy on you emotionally, but that might be the way it is going to be. In time, you might accept that's the way it is.

Good luck.
 

JLcribber

@cockatoojohn
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Shutterbugs' Best
Avenue Concierge
Joined
10/16/09
Messages
22,620
Location
Alberta, Canada
Real Name
John
If you build her a large aviary you can eliminate the "cage" and the problems that go with it. (no out time, aggressiveness, etc).

Some heart to heart advice. You had better get over taking these things personally because they're not. They are behaviours with cause and effect. Nothing more.
 

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
Ha ha yep I shouldn't take it personally....but some birds don't like some people....for whatever reason. I just happen to be someone she does not like. Will she ever learn to tolerate me?? That is all I want so she isn't locked up all the time. She has a huge indoor cage. But with the trays I can't step inside. When she is loose in the house she also attacks me...or on her stand. So I don'ttthink she is cage aggressive at all....she is just aggressive towards women in general.
 

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
I plan on building a outside aviary for summer....our winter are freezing cold. I feel she would be better living with a man though. Locking her up when women are around. I hope I am doing the right thing by forcing her to accept her new living situations. is this cage big enough if she doesn't get out of cage time?
 

Attachments

Wasabisaurus

Cruising the avenue
Avenue Veteran
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
2/2/10
Messages
10,561
Location
Birdsville
Wasabi apparently is not fond of females. I have had countless bites, but he also bit the vet tech too. Brat. I am the main caregiver so he just has to tolerate me and that's all there is to it.
 

Nikomania

Rollerblading along the road
Vendor
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Joined
8/9/13
Messages
4,015
Location
San Diego
You say that she likes men, yet she lived with a woman. I'm not convinced it's a gender thing here.

I agree with the recommendation that you take her out while your husband is home.
 

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
She is ten thousand times more aggressive towards me when he is around. I will try to get videoof it.
 

shesocalifornia

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/12/14
Messages
189
Real Name
Christina
The woman she lived with never took her out me her cage in the two years she had her. The first home was a grooming shop and we don't know any more than that :(.
 

JLcribber

@cockatoojohn
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Shutterbugs' Best
Avenue Concierge
Joined
10/16/09
Messages
22,620
Location
Alberta, Canada
Real Name
John
In time she will tolerate you. How long that specific time is? I would be measuring in years.
 
Top